Cottaging or cruising – which one is more for you?

Those of you who are new to gay dating might thought that I’m going to talk about whether you should spend your vacation on a cruise or in a cabin log. If that is the case, I’m afraid I will have to disappoint you. And those of you who wish to try cottaging or cruising but don’t know which one is more for you, buckle up and get ready for a ride.

As you know, cottaging and cruising are all about casual hookups in public spaces. Gay men go around specific areas to look for other gay men and have sex with them right on the site. It is exciting and gives them anonymity. Still, there are some significant differences between these two terms. You should get to know the basics if the thought about fucking a stranger in a public space gives you a boner.

What is cottaging?

Fucking in a public toilet might be too dirty for some people, but there are plenty of others who find it super hot. Pinning a hottie you’ve just met to the wall of a cubicle and drilling his ass is so thrilling. And don’t forget about gloryholes (although these are not strictly related to cottaging, and you can find them in ladies’ rooms as well). There is something so arousing in sucking a cock of a man you’ve literary never seen.

But let’s get back on the topic. Cottaging is not just any sex you have in a public toilet. This term marks anonymous hookups in public toilets. There are usual locations (called Tea rooms) in almost any city where gay and bisexual men can expect to find other men who practice cottaging. There are some typical signs for showing you are interested. These include sticking your foot under the cubical wall or making eye contact while standing by the urinal, as well as some additional signs. If the other man is interested, he has to respond in a certain manner to confirm it. There is a whole set of signals and codes for these situations, and you need to understand them if you want to go cottaging.

What is cruising?

Cruising, also known as gay dogging, is similar to cottaging. The difference is that here sex happens in secluded outdoor places. Just like with cottaging, every city has specific locations for cruisers, called cruising grounds. Those include parks, beaches, lay-bys, areas by canals, under bridges, and similar places that provide cover. Men walk or drive (aka cruise) around these areas in search of someone for a hardcore outdoor fucking. There are also special indicators that men use to let other men know they are interested. That can be eye contact or some particular signal that the local cruising community uses. Once the both of them consent, they find a private place where passers-by can’t see them.

Are cottaging and cruising legal?

If you are thinking about cottaging or cruising and which one is more for you, you should know their legal status. Most people believe that having sex in public is illegal. However, most countries don’t have a specific law that forbids fucking outside. Still, that is considered a nuisance, and you can get a penalty for disturbing the public order if you get caught. Also, if someone calls the police, or files a complaint, or if you fuck in broad daylight in an open space where anyone can see you, you will be in trouble.

In general, cottaging is considered illegal. For instance, the US and the UK have specific laws targeted against sex in public toilets (although the cops usually apply it only to gay couples, and let the situations where they find straight couples just slide). There were occasions when men were harassed and arrested just for initiating contact, before the sex could even happen.

As for cruising, its legal status varies from country to country. Somewhere, it is not a crime by itself. In the UK, there is no law that forbids driving or walking around cruising grounds. However, some states in America have laws that prevent cruising. For example, Oregon has a law that says it’s illegal to drive past a certain point more than twice between 9 pm and 5 am. Cruising Ordinance Laws in the US are supposedly made to ease the traffic. They are supposed to regulate any kind of organized or spontaneous aimless driving around, and make sure that there are not too many vehicles at the same time at the same place. Cruising ordinances are officially part of the traffic law, but they undoubtedly interfere with attempts of gay men to fuck outdoors.

Which one is more for you?

Both are exciting, and both bear their risks. Fucking a complete stranger is always thrilling, but it can also be dangerous. You never know what their true intentions are, plus there is always the risk of getting caught. That is common for both of these activities, despite their differences.

So, how to decide if you want to try cottaging or cruising? First, ask yourself what arouses you more – fucking in a public toilet in a train station or gas pump, or in bushes in a park or by the road. Take the risks into consideration. If you are scared to walk alone in a secluded area at night, then cruising might not be for you. If you are more afraid of breaking the law, then you may not be comfortable with cottaging.

Choosing between cottaging or cruising

Here is a little list I’ve made to make it easier to compare cruising and cottaging.

As you can see, both cruising and cottaging have some exciting pros and some cons. There is no doubt that you will have a unique experience whichever you choose. And, if you can’t decide, you can just try both!