Stop pretending you are not kinky

Isn’t it lovely having so many fetishes that you can explore? I’m so glad that kinks and fetishes are becoming more present in the mainstream discourse. However, there are still people who disapprove of anything that they don’t consider “normal”. Many of them claim they’re superior because they don’t have any fetishes. Bullshit! Everyone has some kinks that others find strange. So, stop pretending you are not kinky! And even if you genuinely like vanilla sex (which is perfectly fine, as well), that doesn’t mean you can kink shame others.

Diversity of fascinating kinks

Before going further into this topic, I need to say that kinks and fetishes are not entirely the same. You can say that fetishes are one type of kink. However, I will put them in the same pot (for this article only) because the point is to accept all kinds of nasty things that give you a boner.

As someone who is afraid of bugs, I find it hard to understand how some people can be into formicophilia (bug fetish). The thought of someone being aroused when bugs are crawling over their body and their cock makes me shudder. Do I think it’s weird? Definitely. Am I going to discriminate against those people or take them for bad persons just because of their fetish? No. And neither should you.

Why you shouldn’t kink shame

The short answer on why it is wrong to kink shame others would be: because it just isn’t nice, and it’s hurtful. When people reduce someone’s worth based on what they like to do in the bed (or any other place), that messes with their everyday life. It can prevent kink-shamed people from enjoying their sexual preferences and from living a fulfilled life.

For example, there were cases of people getting fired from their job or losing custody over their kid because they have some not-so-common kinks (such as furry fetish, exhibitionism, or fetish of fucking a sex worker). All because others can’t accept that everyone has different turn-ons.

Also, saying that someone is a bad, crazy, or deranged person just because they like something kinky couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m not saying there aren’t any bad people among kinksters, only that there is no evidence that having “weird” fetishes is connected to some undesirable personality traits. Getting a boner at the sight of sexy feet or when whipping a partner (with his consent) does not mean the person is evil or dangerous.

Plus, everyone has at least some light fetish or kink. Even the biggest prudes have some kinky turn-ons, whether it’s ear-nibbling or fucking only on silk sheets. Let’s say you enjoy calling your partner “baby” in bed. Guess what, buddy? That’s also a fetish. Yup, that is a super-light version of age play. And some people consider that weird, just like you might consider some other kind of behavior strange.

Stop pretending you are not kinky and just enjoy

As you can see, some of your preferences can also be considered kinks. So, there is absolutely no reason to claim you’re “normal” and that other people are not. (What the fuck is “normal” anyway?) Calling others names for practicing fetishes while also having your (secret) kinks is hypocritical. Other’s desires are not weird; they are just different than yours. That also means that your own kinks, which you try so hard to hide, are perfectly okay. 

Now would be a good time to finally admit to yourself that you have a thing for facial hair, or fun size men, or sticking a butt plug into your BF’s tight asshole. You can stop pretending you are not kinky and accept your wilder side.

That will give you a chance to explore those kinks and get more pleasure out of them. Having an open mind will allow you to experience sex and kinks without shame, as you should. Just imagine how much more pleasure you can get if you stop pretending you don’t have any nasty fantasies.

Don’t be embarrassed about your kinks

Being kinky is fun! I find it fascinating that there are so many different things that turn people on. Yes, I don’t understand some of them, but I bet some people wouldn’t understand why I like what I like. And that’s okay. The important thing is that I don’t go around attacking people because they get excited over something I don’t understand. I don’t think I’m better than them in any way. And I don’t hide my own kinks.

I have one thing to say to people who claim they’re only into “normal” stuff, and that is: Stop pretending you are not kinky! Embrace your fetishes and let others do the same.